The Happiest Place on Earth


It’s not a horrible age.

I like the dualing digits. Old enough to know the Midori sour is a bad drink. Young enough to still get away with shopping in the juniors department at Macy’s. That is, if I limit myself to one Cinnabon a year. Which I just consumed like a feverish puppy, using my bare hands because I forgot to grab utensils when John and I purchased the small mounds of gooey goodness in the D terminal as we left Las Vegas.

My (new) husband, John, just returned from the airplane restroom, where he discovered streaks of white Cinnabon frosting smeared across the front of his black polo shirt. Five minutes later, after he got horribly distracted by the Scrabble ass-whooping I’m handing him on my Iphone, he discovered a giant patch of wet on his jeans, where he’d casually placed the soggy napkin with which he wiped the frosting off his shirt. I can’t help but snort with laughter, being the understanding and helpful (new) wife that I am.

I’m in the stupid middle seat on the flight back, trying to ignore the large orb of hair perched on the neck of the dude sitting to my right. Thing is, he’s not black. More Persian looking, maybe of Jewish descent. But at some point he must have decided that wearing dark skinny jeans and a loud crinkly jacket with white skater shoes wasn’t hip enough. He needed a ‘fro.

To each his own.

However, I did made a point of holding the tea I ordered in my left hand to avoid stray strands of his icky curly hair from dropping into my cup.


What’s helping me keep my mind off the hair thing is my pending Scrabble victory over my linguistically talented partner. Never mind that I used “vie” and “vies” in one game. And the word “za” which I didn’t know existed until I tested its validity. That I can beat him, an award winning sports columnist for a major metro newspaper, makes me want to skip and dance down the street.

(I like to downplay it to him though, talking about all the advantages I had in getting letters like X and J). Secretly, I’m reveling in my ability to use every double and triple word score possible. Which explains the final tally of points: 352 to 247.